“Whatever happened for the last 18 years disappeared.  It was great to see my old friend (David Letterman) again.”

“Obviously it almost 30 years (since posing nude).  I’d probably have to do it for ‘Mature Senior’ or ‘AARP’ magazines (today).  It’s a little different now.”

“Tomorrow night President Obama will give his State of the Union address.  The White House says the speech will focus on American jobs, so I guess he’s going to talk a lot about India.”

“It’s hard to believe that President Obama has now been in office for a year.  And you know, it’s incredible – he took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster.  The Republican Party.”

“Strippers I don’t like in general because you have this phony relationship with them for money, similar to that of when you and Conan were on the Tonight Show together passing the torch.”

“Harry Reid is apologizing more than NBC affiliates.”

“Probably the biggest (stripping) tip was around $500 and that was from the bride and the best girl.  They wanted to lick The Situation for 500.”

“Hey, NBC said they wanted drama at 10 – Now they got it.”

“I take pride in one thing.  I leave NBC primetime the same way I found it – a complete disaster.”